hokay so

the earth is ROUND.
sorry haha random connections with the funny austrailan youtube video explaining how the earth will get blown up.
anyways...
so im home now.
im not certain how i feel about it.
i dont wan to be a poop all summer.
this is still my home and my friends still live here.
i am not going to die here alone in solitude haha.
i think i feel that way sometimes when i get pushed back into places i dont want to be.
kinda like in hawaii. i was a poooop b.c i felt like i was cut off from life. which come to think of it was really rude (oo it smells like freshly cut grass yum :]) b.c i totally made my mom feel like i didnt want to be around them. i was really selfish on that trip. iunno. i get confused when im not with my friends. i dont know why. it feels like i get all lost inside of myself when i'm just with my parents. its stupid. i love them! hum. iunno. but anyways. im home and its odd but i will jump in with full... man i can't remember the creed that trav made up : ( that makes me so sad. im going to look for it. hold on.
well i havnt found it yet but i did find a message that rodrigo did and one of the verses he referenced was Jeremiah 29:11 -

i'll show up and take care of you as i promised and bring you back home. i know what I'm doing. i have it all planned out, plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. when you call on me, when you come and pray to me, i'll listen. when you come looking for me, you'll find me. yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, i'll make sure you wont be disappointed." - God's Decree.

my gosh that is beautiful. i love that. when my heart is completely filled with your desires, then you will fulfill them! you promise that and you never go back on your promises. i love you! k back to looking for the creed : )

other great lessons from you through the overflow:
*"Don't let last week or yesterday affect today. let today affect tomorrow and next week." - Joshua Solorio
*what does it look like to love God?
: Father --> Daughter
: Groom --> Bride
: Shepherd --> Sheep
: Master --> Servant
*don't think that having a boyfriend/esposo will fix the longing for true love. those are simply vessels. god is the only truth.
*"you can only love god to the extent you love the person whom you love the least."
*haha i found a paper that said I heart SARA! (and yes...more then kelsey) jacob wrote it haha he is amazing and i LOVE HIM. i love jacob so much. thank you for him abba. he is yours and you blessed me with him. i love him. thank you.

oh i cant find it but im so happy. its ridiculous! i love christina. i love jenny. i love jacob. i love how amazingly blessed and just everything that you have done for me like its i cant even have words for it. its just so mind blowing and baffling. i love you. my heart is so full of passion for you my gosh. i pray that it overflows out into my life and affects the relationships in it. with my family and my friends and my new guy that you have so beautifully placed in my life right now. he is so amazing and i cant wait to see where you go with him and i. i love you so much. i love you. k bye!