marriage:

its nuts that i am at an age where MY friends are getting married.
when i ask people if they're married, i usually already know the answer since i scoped out the ring.
but it's still fun to ask.
and so many times this is my answer:
a depressingly said 'yeah... almost 2 years.'
are you kidding me?
man, it kills me!
i want to be married so badly!
and i get it.
its not easy.
i don't want it to be!
i want to have struggles because i know that through struggles comes a bond.
just like me and jesus.
i think the problem lies in the fact that girls have this one special problem.
you see, we like to create stories.
shocking, i know.
so, our wedding story has been being planned since our first disney movie practically.
dress.
flowers.
music.
place.
cake.
table settings.
colors.
style.
what else?
...
oh right, a GUY!
so many chicks have forgotten about the fact that a wedding is not a magical 'tada!' thing.
a wedding is a moment.
a marriage is the life that ensues.
cliche yes.
untrue no.

ALSO
1 corinthians 7-
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

YES! encouraging and amazing and uplifting.
people who are single get to love god in a different way than married people do.
singles get to hear god and go do it
whereas marrieds must live life as one with their spouse.
ok great, yes.
i want to hear god and go do it.
yet...
i just cant seem to want a single life.
so change my heart god if you want
but today at 20 and 2ish months
i want a man.
to laugh with
to be with
to learn with
to love.