letter:

so emma decided to write a blog that was a letter to her future husband and i decided i wanted to write one too.  i used to have a journal that i'd write in for my future man but that kinda became creeper status haha... i like the idea of a letter better.  it's hard to post this publicly because it is my heart but i feel that the Lord calls us to be open with our brothers and sisters in Christ in all areas because we are family.  i would tell my biological sister and brother this information so i don't see why i would hide it from others.  i mean, what if someone reading this blog is my someone? hahaha oh my. anyways, read if you want to.  if not, have a good day : )

dear future husband,

i'd really like to know who you are already. i often find myself wondering if i know you or not right now.  even though it gets really tough at times, i like the anticipation of living in the not yet because it'll make for a good adventure when you do make yourself known to me and i to you.  i'm just going to say right now that i don't know at all what to expect when you come. i've never held hands. i've never kissed. i've never even been close to a romantic relationship. so when you get me, you get to have all of me. my whole heart. my whole everything. i feel like i need a disclaimer on myself: i'm really crazy and weird, just to warn you.  i do strange things like do cartwheels in libraries and burp loudly and laugh out-loud at myself when i'm completely alone.  i mumble-sing because i think i know the lyrics but i never do.  i grow my hair really long then without warning chop it off.  i paint my nails 10 different colors. i wear bandana's around my head like a hippie.  i think i'm perfect all the time and i constantly need to be yanked off my stupid pedal-stool, so just bear with me and be persistent, please. i'm really dense and i like things to be laid out clearly in front of me, so don't hesitate to tell me anything because i will respond with a loving smile, even if what you say hurts me or pisses me off.  i need you to go to museums with me and read with me and watch classic movies with me.  i need you to travel with me and get lost on sunday drives to nowhere and grab me just to kiss me.  i need you to love having random people and close friends over at our house all the time.  i need you to lead me when i want to be the leader.  i need you to tell me what i need to hear, not what i want to hear.  don't ever let me be right when i am clearly wrong just to shut me up.  i need you to listen to me when i ramble in circles.  i don't watch chick flicks that often but i do watch Ever After about once every month so please think it's cute instead of weird : ) i'd really like you to have tattoos but i can live without them.  i will do anything that you want me to do with you... if you like sports, i will play and watch them on the tv as long as it's with you.... (and that is saying a lot because i really hate sports.) i will love you with my touch, my eyes, my smile.  i will tell you that you are the sexiest man i've ever laid eyes on.  i will let everyone know you are my husband with loving and uplifting words.  i won't tear you down to build myself up.  i will hold your heart because i know you will be holding mine. i will call you out.  i will serve wholeheartedly with you in whatever the Lord calls you to. i will be a mother to your children. i will raise them as one with you when God guides us on that crazy adventure. i will be inside your soul. i will wake up in the middle of the night to listen to your dreams.  i will be your ahava, your raya and your dode. i will romance you.  i will make you laugh.  i will laugh with you.  i will play fight with you. i will let you do things the way you like to do them.  i will get excited with you about things that get you excited. above all, i will pray with you and call the father, son and holy spirit into our marriage each and every day. and... i will fail at all of this.  i do not expect you to be perfect for i am in no way perfect.  i do not want anything to do with a perfect man.  i want a man that knows he is jacked up and screwy.  i need you to know that the only reason i have you and you have me is because we are both covered in buckets of God's grace. i will love you through all of life.  i know that whenever the heck you get here, it will be by God's anointing.  i hope you have a letter for me.  i hope you think of me and above all, i hope you pray for me, for us.  when that crazy time comes when we slip rings on our fingers and embark on our love journey filled with intense situations of arguments and confusions, romance and passion, strengths and weaknesses, our love will be marked by the LOVE that is greater than all else; God's.  His love first loved us and that is the entire reason why we will be able to love each other with the love that reflects our Creator.  i'm pretty stoked to love you. 

i will love you but God will always love you more.

love your future bride and best friend, 

sara

mm. that was so good to write out.  man, i love God. good night family.