everything:

the realization that everything is meaningless outside of his love hit me last night.
every gain.
every thought.
every single thing.
EVERYTHING.
all of it; worth NOTHING.
EVERYTHING.
i have no idea what this life of mine here on earth is going to look like.
i do know that Jesus is all i want.
i want my Jesus here on earth as he is in heaven.
i am going to live in Christ.
all else is worth nothing.
but how am i supposed to function now?
how are people going to understand unless they encounter God in their own unique way like he met me?
i am at a loss.
i don't know.
i know Jesus is my king and i have full allegiance to him.
i know to die is gain, to live is Christ.
i know that i cannot turn my face away and hide in the false realities of life anymore.
those lies that say watered down Jesus is fine.
hiding in fear is better than making a fool of yourself.
oh, my God, show me how to love like you love.
with a full range of emotions.
never quieting them just to fit society.
oh, my God.