santa is not jesus and an epiphany:

mm. raw thoughts are so good to get out.  i wish i could read them aloud and post that instead, because the way i talk brings a sense of order to my words whereas mere writing makes them confusing.  owell. here goes anyway:


SANTA IS NOT JESUS:

i've been thinking a lot about why i am having such a hard time having faith in jesus.  that he can do all things.  that he asks me to pray about everything because he really wants to give me the desires of my heart.  that he gave me his spirit therefore enabling me to do everything he can do.  i came to the conclusion that it all boils down to santa claus.  we are told our entire little lives that there is an amazing mysterious jolly man who comes to our houses to bring us more stuff via reindeer and the chimney.  we are told to believe in something that we cannot see. and man, were we stoked.  santa's gifts were always the most special ones to open.  actually leaving uneaten cookies by the fireplace on christmas eve and then waking up to find them gone the next morning was PROOF he was real.  then, at some point, he just isn't real anymore. your parents ate the cookies.  there's no reindeer.  no sled.  no jolly man with an entourage of elves.  and you are left with a distant memory and a bitter taste of the words 'believe' and 'faith'. i wanted to figure out when i learned that santa was fake so i asked my mom today:

my sister paula chimed in first and said, "i doubt you ever did because you've always been so practical."

my mom said in response, "well, i never had to tell you he wasn't real.  you just kept playing along with me long enough that it just kinda faded from being real to being a fun thing to do at christmas."

so i started to think: something is wrong with this.  i was told to believe that santa was real for a solid 10 years of my little life.  i was told by media and christmas hype to have full faith that he was not a fraud but in fact totally real.  when i understood finally that he was not real, i became skeptical and didn't like to believe in things people said concerning abstract or things that are unable to be seen.  this is kind of a problem since jesus fits both those categories.  when i was told that jesus was real in sunday school  i thought, ya ok sure he's real.  he's real just like they all told me santa was real. but i went along with it because there was nothing else to do.  my parents took me to church and i liked jesus, he never did anything to me but say he loved me.  so now that i am 20 and trying not to be skeptical, it's hard. i am not skeptical of the fact that jesus loves me.  what i am skeptical about is that he has given me, normal strange long-winded sara, the power of the holy spirit to do kingdom work.  so i guess it all boils down to the fact that santa is nowhere near jesus and i just have to stop being a skeptic.  i know that deserves a "duh, sara..." comment but sometimes things take a little bit of talking to come full circle in my thoughts.  and then i think further, if i truly believe that jesus loves me, then i would have the faith he talks about to support it since god is love.  mmm, well good. problem solved. next: 

AN EPIPHANY:
today i was catching up on advent during the 3 hour drive to my sisters.  i was reading in 3 places: matthew 1:18-23, galatians 3:22-29 and 2 corinthians 5:16-19.  the culmination of these three passages resulted in this crazy epiphany i had,  ready? :
mary and joseph were normal ordinary people.
jesus came to earth because his father, God, asked him to and he said okay.
through faith, we are to be a bridge for the restoration of the broken relationship of god and his people.  
novel ideas right? (sarcasm) 
mary and joseph had to go through intense mockery, confusion, doubt and anticipation.
jesus chose to "faithfully obey" his father's lofty task.
we, as followers of christ, are no longer who we are in this world. 
i am no longer simply sara but i am jesus' love on earth as it is in heaven.  


so this christmas, i am doing 2 things differently:  

believing in jesus and realizing i am god's beloved.

there is such a peace in saying those words with a heart that aligns both with the truth and the love that jesus christ daily lived.  
merry christmas as you soak in the truth that christ iswith us.