he knows:

husband?
wife?
me?
one day.
not yet.

what does that even mean?

listeners.
one soul.
simply one.
if my soul yearns, his soul yearns.
that is the main thing, aside from the physical, that i am looking forward to the most about marriage;
having someone to pray with me, for me, over me, into me.
and
being able to pray the same over him at all times.
me? sara, a wife?
a bride.
oh, Lord.
yes, please.
i am your bride, both individually as sara and collectively as the church.
knowing that gives me much peace in my season of singleness.
it may be a long season and although i pray for it not to be, i am ok with that possibility.
(after all, southern california practically has 9 months of summer so i should be used to long seasons.)
and still, i keep questioning:
when will i be able to be my man's bride too?
that one i pray for.
that man of God.
does his soul already feel my prayers for him?
there are times lately, out of nowhere, that i feel as though my soul is being directly prayed over.
i'll just be sitting or going about my day and this weight of prayers comes in.
i can't explain it but it causes me to pause and feel the joy of hopeful waiting.
waiting.
it is so unexplainably hard to wait.
sometimes the loneliness becomes painful.
on days like that, i need to remind my heart that it can in fact beat without a man's hands to help pump it.
and
there are days when i am content and satisfied in singleness.
oh, i am prayerfully waiting for marriage.
actually, more than anything else in my life, i have remained faithful in praying for this.
mmm.
i pray that i would learn to wait prayerfully in all areas of my life with the same vigor.
while i learn what that looks like, i will sing this:

Will you like to watch the sunrise
Will you have blue or brown eyes
What are the dreams you long to share

I hope you like Stevie Wonder (i change this part to Paul McCartney. i know it doesn't rhyme with thunder but i don't care.)
Are you afraid of thunder
I close my eyes and say a prayer your out there somewhere

I've been waiting all my life for you
I've been wishing on every shining star
I've been watching out of my window
Wondering where you are Wondering where you are

My heart's my only treasure
I've been saving it for your pleasure
I can't wait to give my heart to you

We'll walk this road together
That leads us to forever
I close my eyes and say a prayer your out there somewhere

Too many nights alone
And this house won't be a home until I'm with you

I've been waiting all my life for you
I've been wishing on every shining star

Wondering where you are Wondering where you are

i will sing this and smile.
because God is good because he is.
not because of what he gives as blessings.
but because he loves me.