quid est veritas:

This is just ridiculous.

I am in love.

I wake up with the most girly grin on my face. 

I sing cheesy love songs all day long.

The one to top all cheese-ball love songs is this one:

So this is love
This is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine
My heart has wings
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of

This is love

Yeah... the song from Cinderella.

I've been singing a song from a Disney princess movie. 

Wow... I'm so cool. 

All I want to do is spend time with him.

To hear his voice.

To know how he thinks.

But I can't because he isn't here right now. 

He is somewhere I cannot yet go.

I don't even get to hear his voice while I wait.

And that's ok.

Because I know that when I do, I'll have lived well.

(I'm not talking about an earthly man, by the way.)

I'm talking about Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit. 

I don't even care how ridiculous this blog might sound.

My heart has found the one it has longed for.

I have searched high and low while all the time, I already had what I needed.

I was just too blind to see! 

Jesus has always loved every single person on earth.

This truth never clicked in my heart until recently.

I lived so long trying to make him love me more.

THAT DOESN'T WORK.

His love is stable and fixed.

It was MY heart that needed to learn how to see and feel 

the love already there.

I have finally stepped into the love that has been waiting for me all along.

And, whew let me tell you, it is better than anything I've ever grabbed at. 

The small God in my heart settled for small earth love.

Earth love says that life will be easy once you have more...

a husband, a job, a house, kids, a life. 

Earth love says if you get bored, just go bigger. 

Earth love says go bigger or give up. 

I refuse to love that way anymore.

I want my heart to be satisfied with nothing short of Heaven love.

"If I did not love you OH SO DEEPLY, why then would I have died?" - Jesus

His love is agape, truth, perfect.

He offers it freely then asks us to be a sacrifice. 

We have the choice to deny the question; he is a gentleman after all. 

I have chosen to answer and my answer is Yes. 

Yes to dying to myself.

Yes to being holy.

Yes to failing.

Yes to being covered, drenched in buckets of blood stained grace.

For so long, I had limited myself from living in love.

Somehow, my view of love became skewed.

I thought that if I died to myself, I would lose all that was important to me.

That there would be nothing exciting left in my life.

I figured that I would be stripped and left alone.  Empty & wanting. 

As my God became big, this thought slowly began unraveling.

I began to see that life in him wasn't as dull as I had thought.

I decided to take risk and go see what so many people were living in.

And now? 

Now I am in the midst of deep love.

Love that will only increase as life goes on.

This kind of love demands to be fought for. 

This kind of love requires daily remembering why I love.

This kind of love, loves greatly.

Infinite and pure. 
That is the truth of His love.
Jesus said,
"My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place."

"You are a king, then!" said Pilate.

Jesus answered,
"You are right in saying I am a king.
In fact, for this reason I was born,
and for this I came into the world,
to testify to the truth.
Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

"What is truth?" Pilate asked. 


Quid est veritas?


Infinite.
Jealous.
Pure.
Sacrificial.
Persistent.
Honest.


Hallelujah.