Anti-climactic:

Our life is a book that writes itself.
We are characters in a novel
who don't always understand
what the author wants.
-Julien Green

Right now, the season which I find myself in is: frustrated confusion.  I have absolutely no idea what God, my author of life, or myself are doing.  I am slowly becoming extremely frustrated by this lately instead of enticed into a deeper adventure as I have been in the past with an uncertain future in my horizon.  I've been asking God why the frustration? I suppose this is why: I am frustrated because the things that I enjoy doing don't make sense in this world.  I am frustrated that traveling and living in Europe and spreading the words of my Savior in that way doesn't fit neatly into a major.  Even if it did, would I want it?  I doubt I would but at least explaining life to my parents or to anybody for that matter would be more on the simple side.  I keep saying I am going to blog about my life - specifically about the past 5 weeks, 3 of which I spent fasting from food (I juiced, so to be proper, it's called a modified fast) but also in general about the last 5 months.  Yet, nothing comes out when I try to express my heart and my soul.  So, I have made a decision: I am just going to begin blogging again about the oddities that compose my thoughts and if perchance, my fingers find the words in my soul and bring them out into useful, readable words, then fantastic, I will have been able to successfully share what this great God of mine has been up to in my heart, my life, my soul.  If not, then I will continue praying that it would.  I want to share, truly I do.  There are upwards of 15 drafts I have written trying to explain my life over the past 5 months.  Still, nothing.  None of it makes any sense.  Actually,  the proper statement would be that nothing captures the essence of what I've learned.  Sorry for the anti-climactic blog.
Oh any by the way, it's my birthday next month and I really love birthdays.