Morph:

It's interesting really.
I know nothing about me.
I don't know who I, Sara, am.
My life is composed of years of being:
a) who people want me to be
b) who I want me to be
c) who I should be
For so long I have been trying to morph into what I think people want.
Now, at a month shy of 21, I find myself wondering who I am.
It is so much easier to ignore oneself and put masks on.
I think that was the reason for my fast.
I needed to stop and when I did, I saw myself...
which I didn't necessarily not like but I didn't like it either.
It was a very plain image.
And after so many years of trying to fool myself with masks, I expected to see more.
More what?
More intrigue, more uniqueness... more Sara I suppose.
Nope.  Didn't see that.
Instead it was a morphed image of these lives:
BillyEmmaTrevorStephenBrandonSarahAlexTylerAmyTravMikeCarlyAnnetteCharlotte
Just to name a few.
I have been trying to be like all these other people and more.
There is nothing wrong at first glance with this method because all of the people I have wanted to be like and/or have wanted to have like me (whether romantic or platonic) have been fantastic God fearing people.  But, when I started looking deeper and sifting through the rubble of my once pristine, now fallen towers of Pride, Control, Self-Hate and Anger, I realized something.  As I have spent my time wandering around grabbing at people's characters, relationships with God, personalities, talents, fashion sense, attention, etc... I have COMPLETELY lost who I am.
I don't even know where to begin now!
I want to know who I am.
God, please reveal to me who I am.
Amen.