Tartarus:

In Greek mythology, there is a place named Tartarus.  It is a deep, gloomy place, a pit, or an abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering.  It is place is beneath the underworld and was known as the Abode of the Accursed amongst the gods.  After souls that had been sent to Hades were judged, those who received punishment were sent to Tartarus.  It is as far beneath Hades as heaven is high above the earth.  As a place so far from the sun and so deep in the earth, Tartarus is hemmed in by three layers of night.  It is a dank and wretched pit engulfed in a murky gloom that held the the most despicable deities, giants and monsters.  




This is the place that I am choosing to walk into.
To go into my Tartarus where I have cast my deepest enemies, my most painful memories and emotions. 
I am terrified to go into it.
Terrified.
I know that once I go in, the way in which I entered will be lost and I will be forced to find another way out. 
I know that once I go in, my God will give me all I need.  
I know that I am going in. 
I cling to God now not because I distrust him, thinking he will leave me high and dry.
No.  I cling to God now because it is impossible for me to cling onto anything else.
My faith is deepening.
Sara is slowly breathing her last breath.
And Beloved is slowly learning how to breath. 
Amen.