used

last night, god was powerful. of course he is always powerful but i choose to keep myself 'safe' and nominal. last night i was called out to lay it all down - nothing inside, everything i've ever hidden away from light. i had the choice to remain silent and keep my christian demenor. i had the choice to recklessly abandon all of my self and go for it. i chose the later. my heart and my soul finally, after years of pushing and proding chose to say OK! TAKE IT! the amazing part that has never occured before was that following the choice words came... ACTION. what a novel idea right? i know. i went to the front where people had gathered who heard god's voice through others hearing god's voice and i prayed without knowing what i was saying over this amazing woman named Jenny. what in the world!? how can i be used to pray over someone i've never met and had no idea of her sufferings? the only way that could be is by the holy spirit. when i've ever doubted before, this is a the reassuring factor i've been looking for. coming into this night i had doubt, i was skeptical. i didnt understand what the pastor meant that god gives certain powers that are different from spiritual gifts. i felt like thomas - needing to feel the wounds in order to believe. well, i'm pretty sure god stuck me inside the freaking wounds because man, did i see. not only did the prayer that came out of me speak directly to jenny's heart but i was then able to share my pains as well. being used by god to do god things at NINETEEN?!? (well almost 20 : ] ) man, god is amazing. i pray that those words would not loose their love and passion. i say lots of things are amazing but when i use that word in conjunction with gods name, its like combining every synonym, every positive word, every emotion and placing it inside of the word for lack of something better. love like this cannot be contained in mere human words and for that i am so thankful.