poema:

expression is so beautiful.
from music, to art, writing poems and stories, to singing.
each thing points to god.
and each thing brings such release.
personally, i can do poems.
yet, i always wish i could play music, paint pictures or sing songs but i just can't.
ok, yeah, i can use paint and create what one could call art but still, i wish it was more.
and i can sing decently but i can't go on stage and belt out.
then i think, 'be content with what god has given you.'
be content.
content: to be satisfied
why is that so difficult?
why am i always reaching out, grabbing out for something else?
lack of patience is always the main issue.
conveniently, advent was about patience right when god was reminding me of it's importance.
through advent yesterday and the day before something clicked inside of me.
monday was isaiah 7 and tuesday was matthew 1.

quick back story for all of this to make sense:

from the time of abraham to david were 14 generations.

from the time of david to the exile of babylon were 14 generations.

from the time of the exile to the Christ were 14 generations.

it took 42 generations of fervent patience for the Christ to come.

ok so...

isaiah 7 was prophesied and then an entire nation continues
...to wait
for about 20 more generations for matthew 1.

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son and they will call him Immanuel - which means God with us."

whattttttttt?
what does that even mean to wait for 42 generations?
by the time joseph and mary learned that the prophesy was going to be fulfilled through them, my guess is that the jewish nation was most likely pretty skeptical of it all. what was isaiah thinking? why did he tell us this? will we ever see the liberating king he and many other prophets spoke of?
and then
after all of that waiting,
comes a baby.
born in bethlehem.
to a 14 year old girl
and a 30something year old carpenter.
mmm, doesn't seem like something i would've thought of really.
all these years of conjuring up what is going to happen.
and then.
a baby.
oh a baby.
helpless.
innocent.
loved.
could you imagine god?
i bet he was crying.
his son was not with him.
his son was being held by someone else.
his son was on earth for 30ish years.
god couldn't hold his son.
i mean i'm sure 30 years to god isn't really all that long.
but still.
that would suck.
so while jesus was here, god was waiting for him back up in heaven.
while jesus is in heaven, we are waiting.
just think for a moment the kind of waiting god must have been doing.
then
then think for another moment the kind of waiting we do.
mm, i am almost positive it doesn't compare.
waiting is active.
waiting is not twiddling our thumbs nervously wishing that something is going to come about.
waiting is boldly loving and confidently expecting that the god of creation will come and love on you.


ok i feel like i am rambling.
all of this is really to say:
people waited for 42 generations for the jesus that we have.
and now that we have him, we take him for granted so often.
reading isaiah and then matthew woke my heart and my soul up to the fact that
I
have
jesus.
and now, my soul is singing for him.

my soul must sing because if it were to stop...
oh, if it were to stop
not one vein would see blood
not one lung would feel air
not one eye would notice beauty.
if my soul were to stop singing praises to my King
there would be a halt on this earth.
oh my soul
yes, my soul; it is well. 
through the valleys
through the rivers
it is well.


jesus is there, love him. he already loves you.